Why People Don’t Credit Me: Overcoming Self-Doubt and Proving Competence
Have you ever felt undervalued and underappreciated? Have you ever done something and felt that your efforts were either too small to be noticed, or that they were regarded too poorly to be recognized? This article explores why people often do not give us the credit we deserve, how jealousy and discrimination can play a part, and strategies to overcome self-doubt and prove our competence.
Feeling Undervalued: The Struggle of Self-Worth
When others focus on your limitations instead of your achievements, it can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and low self-esteem. People often feel undervalued and underappreciated when their efforts are dismissed or criticized. In the past, I've experienced this firsthand, where people frequently pointed out my shortcomings and made me feel inadequate. This cycle of being told what I couldn't do, rather than what I could, has contributed to my current feelings of paranoia and low self-confidence.
Jealousy often drives people to focus on others' accomplishments while disregarding their own. Even when you accomplish something, it might be too small or too late for others to notice, or too early for them to be impressed. When you work hard and want recognition, people might accuse you of being boastful, especially when others have been praised for the same actions. This can be frustrating and disheartening.
The Discrimination of "Incompetent Until Proven Competent"
Another common reason why people might not credit your efforts is the "incompetent until proven competent" mentality. This can be a form of discrimination, where you are expected to prove your competence before you are given the chance to contribute. Your supervisor might be hesitant to trust you, leading to a situation where you are not given the opportunity to showcase your skills.
One way to overcome this is to consistently demonstrate your competence in your work. By doing so, you can build a reputation for being reliable and capable. This can help your supervisor take you more seriously and be more willing to give you opportunities. Additionally, if you have a trustworthy colleague or mentor, you could ask for their feedback on what might be causing this negative perception.
Living up to the Standards of Abraham Lincoln and Confucius
To quote Abraham Lincoln, “Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.” Similarly, Confucius believed that the superior man is distressed by his limitations and not by the lack of recognition for his abilities. This mindset encourages us to focus on personal growth and excellence, rather than solely on external validation.
By valuing your personal worth and striving to improve, you can break free from the cycle of self-doubt and low self-esteem. It’s important to remember that true personal growth comes from within, and focusing on your own abilities rather than relying on the praise of others can lead to a more fulfilling and successful life.
Unfortunately, the world can be challenging, especially in the workplace. Discrimination and jealousy are unfortunately common. However, by addressing these issues head-on and working to prove your competence, you can overcome these obstacles and achieve the recognition you deserve.