The Truth Behind Heavy Student Loan Debt: A Journey of Financial Struggle and Redemption
Imagine finishing your Bachelors degree with over 150,000 in student loan debt. For many, this scenario is an unthinkable reality. In my case, it was a harsh wake-up call that turned my life upside down.
The Ignorance of Youth
As a 17-year-old, the concept of such an astronomical sum was entirely foreign. Budgeting a few hundred dollars was the extent of my financial experience. It was hard for me to fathom that such "imaginary" numbers could manifest in real life, especially when it came to something as routine as college education. Back then, the assumption was simple: everyone went to college, and college cost something, but it didn't look like people were dying. Therefore, the life formulas seemed to be working fine.
The Reality Hits
By the time I was ready to apply for financial aid during my senior year of college, I had already accumulated so much debt that the bank was hesitant to lend me more money. The last loan I received came with a steep 10% interest rate, which essentially meant the bank was uncertain it would see this money back. Even with this loan, I knew paying it back within 20 years, with the accruing interest, would have required monthly payments of over $1,000, a sum that was far beyond my initial salary as a software engineer.
The First Year After Graduation
The first year after graduation was the worst. It was during this time that I slowly realized the gravity of my situation. The hobbies I used to enjoy turned into mere thoughts, and every penny counted. I struggled with anxiety, weight gain, and a constant sense of guilt and inadequacy. The constant fear of missing out and the overwhelming sense of panic made me a living mess for a long time. Many personal essays detail similar struggles, and a recent one in Slate, titled 'I Am the Student Loan Crisis at Its Ugliest: I Graduated and Found Out I’m 200,000 in Debt,' captures the essence of this struggle.
A Cresting Wave of Debt Management
One of the most harrowing moments was when I checked my debt balance after a year of dedicated payments and realized it had barely changed. The accrued interest had more or less canceled out my payments, and the realization that this financial burden would follow me for decades to come was nauseating. It felt like a slow-motion financial cancer that threatened to consume my life.
Despite the monumental challenges, I began to develop strategies to tackle my debt. I created a spreadsheet to sort my loans by interest rate and prioritized those with the highest rates. I managed to secure a second job for a short while and later joined a tech company in Silicon Valley, which provided the financial stability needed to make significant progress. After years of diligent work, I was able to clear the remainder of my debt and send my final loan payment, marking a significant victory in my journey.
Recovery and Reflection
The process of recovery has been ongoing. I've started keeping a journal to manage irrational self-defeating thoughts, started exercising to get back into shape, and recently relaunched some old personal projects. While the feeling of resentment towards the circumstances remains, I am actively working towards a state of forgiveness. Overcoming such financial struggles has taught me the importance of perseverance and a strategic approach to managing debt.